Speaking Truth is Hard

By: John Carrigan

Wednesday, July 30, 2025

An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. Proverbs 27:5-6 (NLT)

Paul’s first letter to the Corinthian church was meant to redirect them toward two important things; glorifying God and encouraging each other. But first, he had to address the disruptive, disorderly behavior inside the church. As their spiritual leader, he felt obligated to address the church's internal issues. If we see something "out of line" we should probably say something. Sometimes, we can address it with a private conversation. In other cases, we may need to notify a Pastor or Elder. But in either case, it's important we don't "talk behind the person's back." God doesn't want us to be sin sniffers, but if something stinks it’s better to clean up the mess rather than hoping the stench slowly fades away.

None of us like confrontation, but bad behavior usually doesn't self-correct. Unsaved people aren't aware their behavior is inappropriate because they don’t understand God's standards. But when a Christ followers' behavior doesn’t match Biblical principles, it usually needs to be addressed. Being prayed up before we speak God's truth in love will give the message the best chance of being received openly and humbly. If we deliver God's truth in love, we’ve done our part, how they respond is up to the Holy Spirit.

Several years ago, my wife and I faced an uncomfortable situation in our home group. A member of our group started bringing a friend who was going through a bitter divorce, and we all saw her as the victim of a terrible situation. Over time, our home group united to help her, and she began to attend our church. Later, we even reached out to her estranged husband, but he wanted nothing to do with church or the people who were helping his wife.

While attending church she became friends with a single man who had other friends in our home group. Their friendship grew, and after a while they asked if they could attend our home group as a couple. That was a problematic request. Even though she was separated, she was still legally married. It was hard, but as the group's leader, it was my job to speak the truth in love. I had to tell them “No”, but it wasn't a decision everyone agreed with. Some thought letting them be happy was the priority. But my wife and I knew better... we knew God is more concerned with our holiness than our happiness!

Pleasing God means always obeying God's commands... even when it makes us unpopular, even when it requires us to speak the truth in love!